Wait For It...

Friday, August 26, 2011

The unknown and the unknowable. Yup, according to the gospel of CrossFit, this is what we train for on a daily basis; to prepare our bodies to be able to deal with any obstacle that has the audacity to place itself in our path. Move thousands of pounds of weight in just 20 short minutes...HA!...a walk in the park! Run a 5K with a keg on our shoulders...yawn...sounds like a warmup to me!  

But today we changed all that: We knew that we needed to think outside the box, hell...we needed to get rid of the box and just stop thinking altogether!...and so that is how we came up with the perfect challenge...wait for it...wait for it...

To do a workout while we're drunk! Here's how it all went down:

Everybody did a shot and then began the workout, which in this case was the legendary deck of cards workout. I don't want to give away any trade secrets about how this workout is performed, but it is fast and furious and centers around all bodyweight movements.

Burpees come up in this workout at four different times, and each time they did, everybody would stop and do another shot, then quickly resume the workout. It's brilliant...I know, I know!

Now I'm sure that some of you reading this may not approve of our innovative behavior, (you probably hate the 3 stooges too...you rat-bastards) but before you start judging, just hear me out: where is it written that all of the hardest things that may ever happen to you in life are always going to happen when you're wide awake, sober, in a good mood, in air conditioning, or even while you're nourished and hydrated? Navy Seals go through "hell week" to prepare for worst-case scenarios that could occur while at war and though we're just civilians, we need to be prepared too, dammit!

Burpees, tire flips, power cleans, kettlebell swings...it's all become too predictable. We need to blaze new trails and stop trailing the blazers! I want all of you to start contributing new and fresh ideas for challenging workouts just like the one we had here today.

I'll get you started ; )

Tonight when you're at happy hour with you compadres, here's your 1st new CrossFit Body Construction challenge: Get everybody in your group (hell...in the whole bar for that matter) to down one beer, stuff their mouth with as many chicken wings as possible and then, while holding the wings in their mouth and not swallowing, do 100 pushups for time. This workout definitely has real life applications, I'm sure, though I can't think of a single one right now.

Okay, my work here is done. The weekend is upon us and I'm officially on vacation as of right now. I'll be back with a new blog on Tueseday Sept 7th. I may post something here and there in the meantime, but it's highly doubtful, as I'm sure that I'll be busy speading the gospel of the drunken workout during my travels across the Midwest ; )

You snooze - you lose. We're kicking ass and taking names by 6am!

WOD
VACATION
For Time:
30 Snatches 115/75
500 Rope
100 Pullups
500 Rope
50 Wheels of Death
Warmup
1 Mile Run with Red Stripe Keg and 20lb Weight Vest